Chances are, unless you’re a “number nerd”, your calendar isn’t counting down to 8.08.08, when the summer Olympic Games blast off at Beijing National Stadium. Props if you knew the Olympics were in China or knew they were approaching at all. Given that the United States biggest “frenemy” is hosting, chances are you’ll be forced to take notice.
The Basics
China’s excitement over hosting their first Olympiad is palpable. The opening ceremonies, historically a four-hour snoozefest, figure to usher in the games with a campy, over-the-top extravaganza. [Think The Sound of Music meets The Brady Bunch Variety Hour] Organizers are commencing the ceremony at precisely 8:08 p.m. and eight seconds (on the eighth day of the eighth month of 2008).
The Chinese, all 1.3 billion of them, are a proud people. Hosting the games provides them with the perfect propaganda opportunity to kick American ass in front of billions.
Who gives a crap about the Olympics anymore?
Medal counts and endorsement deals aren’t supposed to matter at the Olympics, an idealistic fortnight bringing together the world’s best and brightest. If you think the Olympic Oath is taken seriously, google “Olympics” and “controversy.” Despite being ethically questionable, the Olympics are the ultimate television event; a two-week-long Real World where game faces are on and the only smiles are the fake ones flashed at television cameras or given during interviews on The Today Show.
American athletes are taught to display “good sportsmanship” at all times. Michelle Kwan is an international icon for integrity and classy behavior. The figure skating legend has made a career out of attaining levels of political correctness political strategists salivate over. But Kwan is a boring soundbyte; and probably fake. Like the rest of America, Kwan hopefully dropped a few f-bombs after Tara Lipinski (known as “Terror” among the skating world) ear-piercingly screeched her way to the top of the media stand.
Luckily for NBC, international athletes are shipped to the games minus the shrink-wrap and prepared sound bytes. Female Russian athletes are notorious divas who never fail to maximize their fifteen minutes of fame. Unfortunately, Svetlana Khorkina no longer competes in gymnastics. The infamous “girl who looks like a duck” knew what viewers craved, and she certainly delivered. Khorkina announced at her 2003 Worlds post-victory press conference that silver medalist Carly Patterson did not worry her because she would “run to fat.” Patterson did gain weight, but only after emerging victorious in their close Olympic All-Around battle.
Khorkina symbolizes what is best about the games: Arrogant athletes being tested, vetted and humiliated before billions of viewers, while being followed by relentless paparazzi eager for the games to be their launching pad. (One can only imagine how much CBS paid the undisclosed cameraman who managed catching an exhausted and agitated Nancy Kerrigan mocking Oksana Baiul, the Ukrainian orphan who usurped her position as beloved ice princess.) Wide World of Sports began 30 years of weekly sporting broadcasts with the clichéd “thrill of victory and agony of defeat.” No one embodies this excitement better than Khorkina, who posed for Playboy, tore off her team silver medal on the award stand in Sydney, wept when organizers set the vault incorrectly, and draped the uneven bars with the Russian flag following her final Olympic performance.
NBC may be missing its Katarina Witt, but the peacock never fails to provide sensationalism to viewers. You probably stopped watching the games a long time ago; without trailer park ice queens clubbing competitors, you lack the urge to “TiVo.” Tonya and Nancy might’ve moved on, but that doesn’t mean you should. The Olympics are the ultimate reality show, with more cat-fighting divas, dramatic situations and unique personalities than can be accorded due media attention.
The Beauty of It All?
The Olympics, Jack MacFarland’s sports-watching heaven, inundate the media with stories of glitter, tears, confetti and corruption, and then vacate pop-culture faster than Britney Spears leaving rehab. So indulge! Need more convincing? Here are eight sinfully-delicious arguments for complete submission to the campiest two weeks to be encountered this decade (and some excuses to tell your friends).
1. Political Rivalries Turn Ugly
Utter ignorance aside, you’re probably familiar with a Lake Placid hockey team that crushed America’s cold-war rival in the ultimate international grudge match. China’s been a thorn in America’s economic arse since the mid-‘90s, and their government is gunning to kick American ass. Their government-sponsored sports system, modeled after the Soviet sports machine, is upping investments in order to ensure that the world will be “seeing red.” NBC, eager for a ratings slam-dunk, will exploit and over-plug all encounters between the U.S. and China when golden Olympic hardware is at stake. GE’s television suits want viewers to be cheering and jeering when gymnasts are bobbling on the beam. Does ”Battle of the Brians” ring a bell? How about “Battle of the Carmens?’ Try: gymnastics grudge-match of the century. China, the 2006 World Gymnastics Team Champions, are eager to rip the gold medals off the necks of the Americans who bested them this past summer. Think Kerri Strug ending four decades of communist gymnastics reign on American soil was a big deal? Imagine sucker punching the sport’s most talented team. The Chinese high five their way to victory, but it remains to be seen whether three-time world vault champion Cheng Fei will shed some serious tears.
Must See TV: A team showdown has not been this intense since the “Miracle on Ice.” China’s government expects gold and applies unyielding political pressure, but it’s been known to backfire. Their gymnasts are known for either delivering insurmountable performances, or for hemorrhaging when a team member manages the slightest crack. The Chinese men’s team has won all but one world title since 1994, but has only achieved victory at one of the past three Olympics during their reign. America’s top gymnast, Nastia Liukin, is the daughter of two soviet gymnastics legends and sports a bone-chilling “bitch face.” The American girls barely like their own teammates, so imagine the tension during team finals, when rowdy Chinese crowds want payback. Luckily for viewers, gymnastics’ MTV generation is much more attractive and socially aware than their wet-towel “Magnificent Seven” ancestors.
Tidbit: In the gymnastics community, “to Chinese” is a verb describing a type of mistake made by a stellar athlete who invariably cracks under pressure.
E.g.,: Paul Hamm had the title within his grasp until he “chinesed” his release move and ate the high bar. (To be used as a small side-bar next to the first bullet point’s justification)
2. Amanda Beard: Good Girl Gone Bad
At fourteen, the Atlanta Olympian brought her teddy bear atop the medal stand. Beard’s sultry spreads in Playboy, Maxim and FHM expunge any remaining visions of the animal-loving teenaged breast stroke dynamo. Following an Athens layoff, Amanda’s awaited answer to critics and jealous female onlookers will be center stage among Howard Stern’s cult following. Don’t expect Beard to shy away if Stern requests appearances. The wannabe model, who dates a photographer, is an unwavering attention whore.
Voice of Reason: Attractiveness aside, Beard’s affability wanes when you account for what an opportunist she is. Following the last two Olympic Games, Beard took two years off each time to pursue her burgeoning popular appeal. Her face will be everywhere, but make a mental note of any story about her that actually focuses on her breast stroke. Although her hubris has swelled, recent late night talk show appearances show her to be in good athletic shape. Beard now talks about staying in until 2012 because she “loves competing.” The Heff may be able to buy her implants, but can he buy her another gold medal? Defense of her 2004 world record is at stake.
3. Buzz worthy: Phelps Renews Quest for Record Gold Medal Haul
Second-string preliminary round-swimming pawns beware: don’t bother slipping into your Speedo if you’re susceptible to cracking under pressure. Michael Phelps means business. His 2004 quest to surpass Mark Spitz’s ’72-seven-gold-medal-haul ended because a preliminary round placeholder carelessly false started; disqualifying the Americans before their first stringers ever had a chance. Phelps’ recent stash of golden medals earned at world championships (six in ’05; seven in ’07) raises reasonable expectations that he’ll surpass Spitz. If that isn’t offering enough reasons for Phelps to lose sleep over, Speedo is once again dangling a $1 million reward.
Sports-broadcasting “Porn”: Forget the usual tape delays, NBC is airing
Phelps’ quest LIVE in primetime. NBC perpetuated international perceptions of
Americans by strong-arming the Beijing Olympic Committee to hold swimming
finals during the wee-morning hours. Be prepared for vociferous complaints
should Phelps be successful.
4. Recent Gymnastics Controversies Loom
Gymnastics’ “esteemed” governing body, in conjunction with the International Olympic Committee, manages to muck-up every Olympics. Whether the vault is set at the wrong height, or a beloved champion is stripped of her titles for being given a Sudafed by her doctor, reporters will be all over it. Paul Hamm is still trying to justify whether he rightfully won the 2004 Olympic All-Around title. News broadcasts had viewers debating whether or not “the Korean” had too many hand-holds on parallel bars.
Future Suspects: Results are going to be bitched about, so know your facts for the water cooler debates you’ll be having with coworkers. Note: The FIG, gymnastics’ governing body, is run by Bruno Grandi, friend and countryman of Ottavio Cinquanta. Ottavio, a.k.a. “Speedy”, is the speed skater turned International Skating Union president who engineered the “anonymous judging system” adopted by figure skating as a means of jettisoning future media scandals. The FIG followed suit, leaving casual viewers more confused than ever Grandi’s countrywoman, Vanessa Ferrari, benefits from the new judging system. Ferrari frequently finds herself a medalist in international events, despite ghastly form and execution. Ferrari was injured in ’07, but be on the lookout for suspect successes in the Olympic year..
5. Admit It, You’re a Sucker for Fluff Pieces
“Look into her eyes; she is the face of a nation.” NBC’s army of melodramatic commentators are being deployed early to prepare those gripping human interest stories about children being ripped from their parents to be sacrificed to a socialized sports machine. Russian breadlines are also popular backdrops for them. John Tesh is still a media punching bag for announcing “little girls are dancing for gold” in Atlanta.
Tissue Alert: Expect Yekatarina Kramarenko to weep on-screen about costing the Russian women’s gymnastics team a medal at the 2007 Worlds due to a careless error. Teammates aren’t very forgiving when a medal is the difference between a comfortable life for your family or starving.
6. FCC and NAACP Nightmares
Summer Olympic fortnights present embarrassingly-accurate stereotypes: white men still can’t jump and they’re not great at running either. Country-club divisions among the U.S. Sports Teams continually entertain viewers. How many Chinese names will be slaughtered by commentators? Janet Jackson’s legacy lives on: expect serious FCC complaints by the Parents Television Council should any divers sport skimpy Speedos.
Visual Train Wrecks: The Chinese women’s gymnastics team received a penalty for offensive leotards in Barcelona. 2004 Olympic Champion, Catalina Ponor, briefly returned to competition bigger and bustier than ever before. Ponor’s high-cut leotards and perpetual wedgies were visual eye sores, with her recent retirement making her a likely candidate to continue her Romanian teammates’ legacy of Japanese Adult Film Superstardom.
7. Torch Lighting Mysteries
Who will light the torch and how will they do it? Barcelona trumped everyone by lighting the torch using a bow and arrow, so using Olympic heroes is preferable. Mohammad Ali caused a stir when he visually shook as he lit the Atlanta torch.
Prediction: Expect the Chinese to out-do Parkinson’s. Sang Lan, the Chinese gymnast paralyzed in New York at the 1998 Goodwill Games, is a top candidate to light the torch. Salt Lake City’s ceremony showed Dick Button running the torch into the arena months after suffering a fractured skull. Torch lighting is on the verge of achieving Lifetime Movie status.
8. International Redemption?
Going against the U.N. didn’t engender any global American support. NBC’s arrogant strong-arming doesn’t help. Marion Jones’s admission that her “Drive for Five” was a sham further damns American credibility. With scandals plaguing every major-league sport in America, Jones’ is notable because of her insistent, angry denials of steroid use. Jones faces sentencing and the expunging of her name from books, but it remains unclear whether Jones’ relay teammates will also be forced to relinquish their Olympic hardware.
Enter: The Dream Team
The U.S. Men’s Basketball Team is going for gold the old fashion way: by recruiting multimillionaire NBA stars to slam dunk the competition. Ethics seemed important at the time, when criticisms arose of the ’92 Dreamers Harlem-Globetrotting all over the Barcelona event. Jordan won’t be back, but Kobe expects to be the USA’s hit man. Given Kobe’s experience with the law, perhaps he can recommend a lawyer for Marion. Alleged rapists make the best role models.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Final Thoughts on Figure Skating Nationals
1. Kimmie Meissner is a fighter. The country needs to be supporting her and egging her on to figure out her slump and to regain her confidence. The press (especially Phil Hersh) has been extremely critical of Meissner all year and has been waiting to hand over her reign to one of the younger skaters. Unfortunately for Meissner, she won the 2006 World Championship when she wasn’t at the level of the best in the world. Had everything gone as planned, Sasha Cohen or Fumie Suguri would’ve won, Meissner would’ve medaled, and then Meissner could’ve continued to develop without being expected to deliver a world champion performance in every competition. Kimmie Meissner performed with improved artistry and palpable fire and intensity at Skate America. It appears that the press and the downgrades by the technical callers have shaken her confidence. Hopefully now that the worst has happened (a weak Grand Prix Final and a poor showing at Nationals), the former world champion will get angry, get tough and skate with belief again. Meissner and Wagner should both finish in the top 7 if they skate solid performances.
2. Tanith Belin and Ben Agosto have the programs to win at worlds. They will need to convincingly out-skate Domnina and Shabalin and hope the non-Russian judges lobby their support behind them. Their free dance is intricate and performed with speed and passion. This could be their year. If Belbin and Agosto are able to win in Vancouver, Ice Dancing could become perceived as a legitimate discipline in the US. The duo has the skating, the looks and the personalities to become media darlings in 2010.
3. The fact that Bebe Liang has qualified for a world team is proof that the country may be in jeopardy of not having three ladies qualify to the 2009 World Championships. Skaters are not usually given infinite chances to prove their legitimacy. Bebe has never finished higher than fourth in eight trips to senior nationals. The USFSA has sent Liang to seven Grand Prix events, but the world team member has failed to home a medal. Inconsistency continues to plague the California native; she popped her combination jump in the short program at nationals and popped two jumps in her long program. Liang is too inconsistent to be relied upon to deliver three spots for worlds next season.
4. Ryan Bradley and Emily Hughes should join SOI next fall so they can develop into fan favorites by the Olympic season. Both would be naturals on the professional circuit and would likely find their niche skating on tour. (They could also recoup funds and heal their beat-up bodies.) This hip injury could be a blessing in disguise, providing Hughes with a graceful exit from the senior ranks. The 2006 Olympian performed well at Skate America, but the writing was on the wall when she finished behind Caroline Zhang in both portions of the competition. Her programs were more subtle and nuanced than ever before. Hughes’ body type just doesn’t appear to be built to handle several Triple-Triple combinations.
5. It may be better for Caroline Zhang to skip Junior Worlds. Meissner has been under attack from the press all year. Will Zhang be hounded if she is unable to defend her title? Will it affect her world status? With extra training time, Zhang can make significant improvements in her speed of skating, presentation, jump rotations, takeoff edges and can learn useful combinations for the 2009 and 2010 seasons. With some luck, Zhang will grow a few inches over the summer. A few added inches and pounds will help Zhang develop speed and power. Working with arm weights could also help Zhang fix her Lutz technique.
6. Weir and Lysacek are both capable of medaling at worlds. Instead of lobbying for Wagner or Meissner to medal, the USFSA should try to put both men on the podium at worlds.
7. If Alissa Czisny wants to have a future in the sport, she’ll need to break her “nice girl” image and leave Julie Berlin in favor or working full-time with Linda Leaver and Brian Boitano. Coach Julie Berlin's promised jump improvements have failed to materialize for the past three seasons. Czisny's spins, spirals and artistry are competitive with the best in the world, but her jumps continue to hold her back. If she is in the middle of relearning her technique, practicing with Leaver and Boitano everyday gives her a much better chance of implementing the changes successfully. It would be ideal if Kimmie Meissner transferred to work with Leaver and Boitano as well. Czisny and Meissner’s opposite strengths and weaknesses could help push each other to improve. Having a training partner pushed Jill Trenary and Caryn Kadavy to be much better skaters.
8. One of the ladies needs to beg Sandra Bezic to choreograph their programs. With so many skaters going to Nichol, Wilson and Morozov for choreography, Bezic could provide a fresh look that helps the skater stand out. Zhang may be the best candidate, as she has been looking to show more passion and better presentation. Li Minzghu worked with Sandra Bezic when Lu Chen was competing and the results were legendary.
9. It is doubtful that either Cohen or Kwan will make comebacks to the international scene. It is very possible that Kwan could be offered a salary she can’t refuse and finally skate with Stars On Ice now that SOI and COI will merge. Cohen has never performed better or appeared as confident as she does on tour this season. The Olympic Silver Medalist is finally performing exhibitions with innovative choreography, instead of merely showcasing her trademark spirals and spins.
10. It is exciting that Pasha Grishuk now coaches and choreographs for Inoue and Baldwin. Grishuk could give the pair pizzazz and help the skaters receive better marks from the Russian judges.
11. With ABC covering worlds, it would be fantastic if NBC and IMG co-produced a professional skating event. Sasha Cohen, Michelle Kwan, Emily Hughes, Irina Slutskaya and Shizuka Arakawa would deliver huge ratings around the world if they were provided with big enough incentives (appearance fees and prize money) to face off in World Pro-type event. Eldredge, Weiss, Yagudin, Kulik , Sandhu and Plushenko could deliver big ratings on the men’s side. With so many skaters from North America having strong medal chances in Vancouver, pro skating could be revitalized if enough skaters move on. Buttle, Weir and Lysacek could provide a pro scene with strong rivalries post-Vancouver.
12. Is anyone sad we haven’t seen any typical-Zmeivskaya vamping in any of Weir’s routines? Perhaps Johnny Weir and Oksana Baiul can perform a duet in a TV Special where they each performed the other’s signature routines. Perhaps Baiul could be persuaded to lend skaters her artistic expertise? The Olympic Champion is creative and a natural choreographer.
13. He may have joked about being the voice of Ice Network, but does anyone know if Brain Boitano will be joining Nancy Kerrigan next season? Their friendship could enable them to develop strong on-air chemistry. Kerrigan has improved tremendously over the course of the season, and Boitano already has a wealth of experience. It would be amusing to hear the two friends banter back and forth.
14. Christine Brennan's recent column mentioned that the USFSA didn't fight to petition a change in the age requirement back in 2006, when they knew our junior ranks were developing considerable depth. Isn't it time that the USFSA, the federation who pays the ISU its highest broadcasting fee, stands up for its skaters? It isn't surprising that the federation hasn't, given that Phyllis Howard is on the ISU Technical Committee and Ron Hershberger is President of the USFSA. According to Jon Jackson's book, Howard refused to file a protest with the court of arbitration after learning that Tamara Moskvina made deals against Ina and Zimmerman in order to assure the Chinese of the bronze and the Chinese judge's vote for the Berezhnaya and Sikharulidze. (Jackson, On Edge 190-209) It is time for the USFSA to take an aggressive stand and fight for the best interests of the sport: fairness in judging, a repeal of the new judging system, and new age requirements. If the ISU council continues to bow to Cinquanta's wishes, the sport may alienate remaining viewers and rob the sport of the joy and artistry that has attracted fans and participants for decades.
15. Tracy Wilson's voice could soothe a nation amidst a nuclear attack. It has been wonderful to hear her commentating for American TV again this season.
2. Tanith Belin and Ben Agosto have the programs to win at worlds. They will need to convincingly out-skate Domnina and Shabalin and hope the non-Russian judges lobby their support behind them. Their free dance is intricate and performed with speed and passion. This could be their year. If Belbin and Agosto are able to win in Vancouver, Ice Dancing could become perceived as a legitimate discipline in the US. The duo has the skating, the looks and the personalities to become media darlings in 2010.
3. The fact that Bebe Liang has qualified for a world team is proof that the country may be in jeopardy of not having three ladies qualify to the 2009 World Championships. Skaters are not usually given infinite chances to prove their legitimacy. Bebe has never finished higher than fourth in eight trips to senior nationals. The USFSA has sent Liang to seven Grand Prix events, but the world team member has failed to home a medal. Inconsistency continues to plague the California native; she popped her combination jump in the short program at nationals and popped two jumps in her long program. Liang is too inconsistent to be relied upon to deliver three spots for worlds next season.
4. Ryan Bradley and Emily Hughes should join SOI next fall so they can develop into fan favorites by the Olympic season. Both would be naturals on the professional circuit and would likely find their niche skating on tour. (They could also recoup funds and heal their beat-up bodies.) This hip injury could be a blessing in disguise, providing Hughes with a graceful exit from the senior ranks. The 2006 Olympian performed well at Skate America, but the writing was on the wall when she finished behind Caroline Zhang in both portions of the competition. Her programs were more subtle and nuanced than ever before. Hughes’ body type just doesn’t appear to be built to handle several Triple-Triple combinations.
5. It may be better for Caroline Zhang to skip Junior Worlds. Meissner has been under attack from the press all year. Will Zhang be hounded if she is unable to defend her title? Will it affect her world status? With extra training time, Zhang can make significant improvements in her speed of skating, presentation, jump rotations, takeoff edges and can learn useful combinations for the 2009 and 2010 seasons. With some luck, Zhang will grow a few inches over the summer. A few added inches and pounds will help Zhang develop speed and power. Working with arm weights could also help Zhang fix her Lutz technique.
6. Weir and Lysacek are both capable of medaling at worlds. Instead of lobbying for Wagner or Meissner to medal, the USFSA should try to put both men on the podium at worlds.
7. If Alissa Czisny wants to have a future in the sport, she’ll need to break her “nice girl” image and leave Julie Berlin in favor or working full-time with Linda Leaver and Brian Boitano. Coach Julie Berlin's promised jump improvements have failed to materialize for the past three seasons. Czisny's spins, spirals and artistry are competitive with the best in the world, but her jumps continue to hold her back. If she is in the middle of relearning her technique, practicing with Leaver and Boitano everyday gives her a much better chance of implementing the changes successfully. It would be ideal if Kimmie Meissner transferred to work with Leaver and Boitano as well. Czisny and Meissner’s opposite strengths and weaknesses could help push each other to improve. Having a training partner pushed Jill Trenary and Caryn Kadavy to be much better skaters.
8. One of the ladies needs to beg Sandra Bezic to choreograph their programs. With so many skaters going to Nichol, Wilson and Morozov for choreography, Bezic could provide a fresh look that helps the skater stand out. Zhang may be the best candidate, as she has been looking to show more passion and better presentation. Li Minzghu worked with Sandra Bezic when Lu Chen was competing and the results were legendary.
9. It is doubtful that either Cohen or Kwan will make comebacks to the international scene. It is very possible that Kwan could be offered a salary she can’t refuse and finally skate with Stars On Ice now that SOI and COI will merge. Cohen has never performed better or appeared as confident as she does on tour this season. The Olympic Silver Medalist is finally performing exhibitions with innovative choreography, instead of merely showcasing her trademark spirals and spins.
10. It is exciting that Pasha Grishuk now coaches and choreographs for Inoue and Baldwin. Grishuk could give the pair pizzazz and help the skaters receive better marks from the Russian judges.
11. With ABC covering worlds, it would be fantastic if NBC and IMG co-produced a professional skating event. Sasha Cohen, Michelle Kwan, Emily Hughes, Irina Slutskaya and Shizuka Arakawa would deliver huge ratings around the world if they were provided with big enough incentives (appearance fees and prize money) to face off in World Pro-type event. Eldredge, Weiss, Yagudin, Kulik , Sandhu and Plushenko could deliver big ratings on the men’s side. With so many skaters from North America having strong medal chances in Vancouver, pro skating could be revitalized if enough skaters move on. Buttle, Weir and Lysacek could provide a pro scene with strong rivalries post-Vancouver.
12. Is anyone sad we haven’t seen any typical-Zmeivskaya vamping in any of Weir’s routines? Perhaps Johnny Weir and Oksana Baiul can perform a duet in a TV Special where they each performed the other’s signature routines. Perhaps Baiul could be persuaded to lend skaters her artistic expertise? The Olympic Champion is creative and a natural choreographer.
13. He may have joked about being the voice of Ice Network, but does anyone know if Brain Boitano will be joining Nancy Kerrigan next season? Their friendship could enable them to develop strong on-air chemistry. Kerrigan has improved tremendously over the course of the season, and Boitano already has a wealth of experience. It would be amusing to hear the two friends banter back and forth.
14. Christine Brennan's recent column mentioned that the USFSA didn't fight to petition a change in the age requirement back in 2006, when they knew our junior ranks were developing considerable depth. Isn't it time that the USFSA, the federation who pays the ISU its highest broadcasting fee, stands up for its skaters? It isn't surprising that the federation hasn't, given that Phyllis Howard is on the ISU Technical Committee and Ron Hershberger is President of the USFSA. According to Jon Jackson's book, Howard refused to file a protest with the court of arbitration after learning that Tamara Moskvina made deals against Ina and Zimmerman in order to assure the Chinese of the bronze and the Chinese judge's vote for the Berezhnaya and Sikharulidze. (Jackson, On Edge 190-209) It is time for the USFSA to take an aggressive stand and fight for the best interests of the sport: fairness in judging, a repeal of the new judging system, and new age requirements. If the ISU council continues to bow to Cinquanta's wishes, the sport may alienate remaining viewers and rob the sport of the joy and artistry that has attracted fans and participants for decades.
15. Tracy Wilson's voice could soothe a nation amidst a nuclear attack. It has been wonderful to hear her commentating for American TV again this season.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
The Men's Event
Skating results shouldn’t shock me, but they never fail to. One is naïve if they believe an extra double loop or double toe loop by Weir would’ve made a difference. Results are still controlled by the judges, who discuss placements during practice sessions and nightly cocktail parties. Lysacek’s victory had little to do with his skating. He surely wasn’t awarded personal bests for his scratchy landings on 5-6 jumping passes. This narrow victory is a result of Lysacek being the USFSA’s “yes” man. When one listens to Evan Lysacek in interviews or reads his quotes, they should be able to discern a disingenuous quality. When the national champion mentions how “masculine” skating is or how skating “is like the X Games”, he is playing up to the USFSA and how they prefer to market the sport. While fans, judges, skaters and coaches have accepted the fact that the majority of male skaters are gay, the powers that be are uncomfortable with letting it be known that nationals are a bigger gay dating convention than all state choir.
From reading competitors’ Q+A’s, journals and seeing their numerous photo ops on television, Evan Lysacek and Tanith Belbin’s romance appears as believable as Rock Hudson and Doris Day. While I am not labeling either skater one way or the other, several skaters have been known to chuckle at their relationship, with the most common response being, “Tanith is a smart girl. She knows what she’s doing.” During the opening of NBC’s broadcast of the men’s program, it takes a few moments to realize when the image shifts from Weir to Lysacek due to their wardrobe similarities. Perhaps we should put them on “The Newlywed Game” and see exactly how much they know about one another.
When it comes to judging the actual skating, why aren’t the judges supporting a skater who has gotten in the best shape of career, is skating to brilliant, original music with innovative choreography? Weir actually went for a Quad Toe, which was cleaner than Lysacek’s attempt, and most of Weir's jumping passes were completed with long flowing edges, while Lysacek landed extremely forward on both Triple Axels and hung on to his Triple Salchow and Triple Toe. The international judges love Weir and awarded him two Grand Prix victories, while Lysacek couldn’t even win Skate America (Figure Skating’s version of the American Cup a.k.a. SCAM Cup) Remember the days when Frank Carroll and Lori Nichol wouldn’t allow Michelle Kwan to skate to music that had been previously used by anyone? Why have they insisted on playing the “paint by numbers” approach to Lysacek’s music and choreography? We’ve see him skate to Zorro, Tosca, Carmen and Malaguena, with each overused piece of music being expressed by extraneous overwrought arm movements from his previous year’s program. This is not innovate “artistry.” Perhaps is Lysacek spent less time creating an image preferable to the USFSA, we might see his true personality come out and feel more of a connection. When I watch Lysacek’s free program, I often wonder if I’d prefer watching Irina Slutskaya grab her head with fake angst. Luckily, the rest of the USFSA senior men have given up the country’s tradition of portraying soldiers or something equally farfetched and “masculine.”
The international judges have proven that they are not necessarily looking to see who the most “masculine” skater is. John Curry was not punished for being himself when he won the gold medal in 1976; neither was Urmanov in 1994. Weir is beloved around the world for being true to himself on and off the ice. Now training under Galina Zmeivskaya, Weir has the skating and the political force to challenge for the World Title. When it comes time for Vancouver, I’d rather be Johnny than Evan. Galina Zmievskaya has pulled off two difficult victories, while Frank Carroll has been on the losing end twice. It will be inconsequential whether the USFSA backs Johnny or Evan, because Weir’s alliances with Galina Zmeivskaya, Tatiana Tarasova, Marina Anissina, Viktor Petrenko, Oksana Baiul, Evgeny Platov, Irina Slutskaya, and countless others should give him the support of the former Soviet Bloc. The Russians do not have a top contender this year, which means it is likely the Russians will put their vote behind a skater whom recently was an award titled “For Love of Russia.” Weir may prove to be the USA’s best chance for gold at Worlds (Belbin and Agosto are ready, but they face a Russian dance team who possess Russia’s only serious chance at winning a world title this season).
From reading competitors’ Q+A’s, journals and seeing their numerous photo ops on television, Evan Lysacek and Tanith Belbin’s romance appears as believable as Rock Hudson and Doris Day. While I am not labeling either skater one way or the other, several skaters have been known to chuckle at their relationship, with the most common response being, “Tanith is a smart girl. She knows what she’s doing.” During the opening of NBC’s broadcast of the men’s program, it takes a few moments to realize when the image shifts from Weir to Lysacek due to their wardrobe similarities. Perhaps we should put them on “The Newlywed Game” and see exactly how much they know about one another.
When it comes to judging the actual skating, why aren’t the judges supporting a skater who has gotten in the best shape of career, is skating to brilliant, original music with innovative choreography? Weir actually went for a Quad Toe, which was cleaner than Lysacek’s attempt, and most of Weir's jumping passes were completed with long flowing edges, while Lysacek landed extremely forward on both Triple Axels and hung on to his Triple Salchow and Triple Toe. The international judges love Weir and awarded him two Grand Prix victories, while Lysacek couldn’t even win Skate America (Figure Skating’s version of the American Cup a.k.a. SCAM Cup) Remember the days when Frank Carroll and Lori Nichol wouldn’t allow Michelle Kwan to skate to music that had been previously used by anyone? Why have they insisted on playing the “paint by numbers” approach to Lysacek’s music and choreography? We’ve see him skate to Zorro, Tosca, Carmen and Malaguena, with each overused piece of music being expressed by extraneous overwrought arm movements from his previous year’s program. This is not innovate “artistry.” Perhaps is Lysacek spent less time creating an image preferable to the USFSA, we might see his true personality come out and feel more of a connection. When I watch Lysacek’s free program, I often wonder if I’d prefer watching Irina Slutskaya grab her head with fake angst. Luckily, the rest of the USFSA senior men have given up the country’s tradition of portraying soldiers or something equally farfetched and “masculine.”
The international judges have proven that they are not necessarily looking to see who the most “masculine” skater is. John Curry was not punished for being himself when he won the gold medal in 1976; neither was Urmanov in 1994. Weir is beloved around the world for being true to himself on and off the ice. Now training under Galina Zmeivskaya, Weir has the skating and the political force to challenge for the World Title. When it comes time for Vancouver, I’d rather be Johnny than Evan. Galina Zmievskaya has pulled off two difficult victories, while Frank Carroll has been on the losing end twice. It will be inconsequential whether the USFSA backs Johnny or Evan, because Weir’s alliances with Galina Zmeivskaya, Tatiana Tarasova, Marina Anissina, Viktor Petrenko, Oksana Baiul, Evgeny Platov, Irina Slutskaya, and countless others should give him the support of the former Soviet Bloc. The Russians do not have a top contender this year, which means it is likely the Russians will put their vote behind a skater whom recently was an award titled “For Love of Russia.” Weir may prove to be the USA’s best chance for gold at Worlds (Belbin and Agosto are ready, but they face a Russian dance team who possess Russia’s only serious chance at winning a world title this season).
Friday, January 25, 2008
Weekend Goodies
(I'll be posting more hard-news artlces within the next few days. I've had the flu.
Oksana Baiul was made for reality television. This would only happen to Oksana on the day of the Olympic Long Program.
Way to spit out your gum while being interviewed!
Back when only the Japanese media was crazy... Oh, how things would be so different two years later.
1992 Olympios Ladies Preview and Yamaguchi Profile:
1992 Olympics Ladies SP Practice and Draw.
If throwing (and landing) a triple axel at 3:30 in her long program didn't win you over, Midori will be sure sure to wow you with her infinite charm.
This is what happens when choreography, music, natural presentation ability, sex appeal and one hot cat suit work perfectly together. Thank you, Sandra and Katarina!
The making of Carmen On Ice. (Katarina won an emmy for this performance.)
When a government ruins a skating career:
Ratings Gold: Someone needs to pay these two to compete in Vancouver. Where are the Russian divas when we need them?!?!
Oksana Baiul was made for reality television. This would only happen to Oksana on the day of the Olympic Long Program.
Way to spit out your gum while being interviewed!
Back when only the Japanese media was crazy... Oh, how things would be so different two years later.
1992 Olympios Ladies Preview and Yamaguchi Profile:
1992 Olympics Ladies SP Practice and Draw.
If throwing (and landing) a triple axel at 3:30 in her long program didn't win you over, Midori will be sure sure to wow you with her infinite charm.
This is what happens when choreography, music, natural presentation ability, sex appeal and one hot cat suit work perfectly together. Thank you, Sandra and Katarina!
The making of Carmen On Ice. (Katarina won an emmy for this performance.)
When a government ruins a skating career:
Ratings Gold: Someone needs to pay these two to compete in Vancouver. Where are the Russian divas when we need them?!?!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Assorted Gems
Oksana Baiul Fluff from 1993 and 1994:
Kudos to whomever knows what song she's dancing to.
Baiul's 1993 Nations Cup LP.
Paul Wylie's LP from the 1992 Olympics.
Janet Lynn Fluff from the 1998 Olympics.
Someone who didn't take the bronze quite as well:
(I love how blunt Katarina Witt is.)
The Block Judging Fiasco
Best. Flower. Girls. Ever.
Kudos to whomever knows what song she's dancing to.
Baiul's 1993 Nations Cup LP.
Paul Wylie's LP from the 1992 Olympics.
Janet Lynn Fluff from the 1998 Olympics.
Someone who didn't take the bronze quite as well:
(I love how blunt Katarina Witt is.)
The Block Judging Fiasco
Best. Flower. Girls. Ever.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Worth Watching
I love their dynamic.
I miss that fire from Sasha. She lost confidence and hid that part of herself between 2002-2006.
Fluff on the Weir/Lysacek rivalry at the 2001 Junior Worlds. This is only going to get more intense and more heated between now and Vancouver.
Jenny's program always puts a smile on my face when I'm having a bad day.
It is wonderful to see Sasha Cohen be so comfortable with herself during an interview.
I hope she writes an adult memoir in 20 years or so. She must have so much to share.
This interview is fabulously awkward. It is so much fun to see Michelle's facial expressions when he asks her some of those questions. She must be a riot when she is allowed to let her guard down.
The Comeback Trail
Why am I the only one who thinks Ashley Preiss still has a shot at making the Olympic Team? She has only been training for two months and looks like she's on schedule to have a Morgan White-like performance at Olympic Trials.
The USA could use her consistency.
She has nothing to lose. Even if she doesn't make the team, she is almost assured to be a star in college. I think the "bubble girls" who are professional (e.g. Memmel, Bieger, etc) will feel much more pressure about making/not making the team.
The USA could use her consistency.
She has nothing to lose. Even if she doesn't make the team, she is almost assured to be a star in college. I think the "bubble girls" who are professional (e.g. Memmel, Bieger, etc) will feel much more pressure about making/not making the team.
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